Tackling Ambitions

Spent many many days thinking about how this kind of systematic reduction of our own self worth to a single idea is, well, unrewarding.

Most of my time is spent sitting and evaluating everything I do. Each moment spent doing this is also a way of working out myself and where I belong in it. Double checking where I belong might actually be one of the flaws I can’t control. Making decisions based on how I think I might want to be, cause that irrational way of digging so deep into ourselves, there is almost a loop that starts and is hard to try and stop.

At 52, it has taken many years and many different types of work styles to find something I feel most comfortable in. It is the most complete I have ever felt as a staff member for any workplace I have inhabited.

Now go back and read the title.

We all have ambitions and things we would like to try and achieve in our futures. I myself have been thinking about my future and what I am going to do to improve myself. Personal Development is something promoted by many many companies and institutions to try and give employees a chance to improve their station in life. The institution I work for have always generously agreed to me spending time and finding courses to ‘Level Up’ my experience and expertise. My field of work is narrow, well to be honest very narrow, but there is many many things I can still equip my mind and technical knowledge with further course work and education I can extend my knowledge further and further.

Get Ready

The festive season is upon us, and it’s a great time to reflect on the things we have done well, thing we could do a little better, and things we need to change in our life.

I’m blessed to have an amazing job, wonderful family, and friends that underdstand me in almost every way.

Maybe we use those three things as our headings to talk about how I am looking forward into 2022

Job: Teaching and advising the wonderful perplexing world of Photography Printing. I have to admit that it has been a dream of mine for many years to be able to do this. I have studied and studied and now made it to a point where I am quite content to work in the industry I have been training for. I have already been looking quite deeply into courses and extra education in specific fields to ‘value add’ to my work place.

Family: The big thing with family is quality time together. This has been kid of lacking again during the pandemic. This might sound quite odd but it’s very true. The anxiety of being stuck in our own homes, away from the world has changed the way we interact quite a lot. So it might be time to reintroduce family dinner once a week where we all sit at the table and have a meal together.

Friends: This one is harder to organise but I know I have to. Making a little time for other people in my life is something I have neglected for a very long time. I was unwilling and unable to do this because, well, I just am very socially awkward and never properly felt comfortable around many people. The other problem has always been I didn’t drive. I was a public transport user and that made it very hard to get around and make time for others in my life. Now I have my own car and there is no excuse. So 2022 is the land of new friendships for me.

That’s about it. If I come up with any other silly little things I will let you all know, but I think 2022 for me is going to be about improving my work life and knowledge, reconnecting with family, and making as many new friends as I can.

When it ends, I will start

With life the way it is at the moment, it’s hard to get a true handle on things.

Now that lockdowns have started to ease, the ‘virus’ isn’t stopping our lives and making moving round a little easier than it has been for quite a while, life is starting to reboot a little. We are now able to move around and enjoy the outdoors and life in general a little more.

Each week seems to bring more changes. With the changes come ways of trying to deal with these changes and how to adjust. Are they new challenges or freedoms we are discovering? How do we accept and adjust ourselves back to a ‘norm’ when we have lived in isolation for so long?

These questions are pondered over and over. I have now answer, but will definitely enjoy the discussion.

Strange Times.. So how we all survivng?

It’s time to admit that COVID has really throw a spanner into the pool that is the creative and performing arts. The ripples of unrest run deep.

The thing I have noticed the most is the ability of artists to diversify and still keep their public in the loop.

A balancing act has been centre of decisions of how best to interact with our viewerships, and keep the flow of making art at the same level and significance. These branches have proven to be quietly fruitful for a few, and have also shown the resilience of performers and makers.

My standard plea to those that read this is to interact.

An artists job is to delve into unknown places within themselves to give a new perspective on what is happening around them at any time. Without the connection of the public the things made, performed, transcribed, and every other form are simply sent out into the either as quiet streams where they can be lost.

Your interaction requires little effort, but rewards a lot. It’s power keeps the forge hot.

The ‘Life Stuff’ is interesting stuff…

I have been sitting around and listening to the inside of my mind a lot as of late. There are a lot of decisions that revolve around what and where I want to take my life in the future. One of the hardest things to consider is where my life and work trajectory is taking me.

The main reason for this is we can’t see beyond the day and time we are spending already waiting to see where the next step will take us. I have pondered and pondered my future, and am struck personally by the amount of roadblocks I see. These are all added by me because, as I think with a lot of people, the fear of failure to extend our minds and ideas into a new space is quite scary.

It takes time to be able to see beyond, and we need to apply ourselves properly and openly to accept success and failure. It’s time to stop being afraid.

Imagery and Songs

Sometimes you just have to look up at the sky and wonder, as that is where the daydream starts and the opening of ones mind into new ideas starts.

I have always hopped to be a lot more open minded, and always found myself stuck in my own thoughts. The idea of the daydream is to reveal something different inside ones self, the child like freedom to wonder about anything and everything.

With this in the back of my mind I created this set of images based on a song purely devoted to the idea of the daydream and how the daydream feels in a musical sense. I wont mention the song as I think it might be more fun if people could guess..

Well Good Bye 2014…. You were what you were……

This time of year is a funny one for me. I find myself on many occasions sitting alone and wondering what is really going on in my life and what are the answers to all the questions that have never been answered. Today again I found myself sitting quietly and on the verge of tears for like the third time today for no reason at all.

I must admit the Christmas and New Years periods are fairly sad times for me, and I have never really been able to adjust. To many bad memories bounce around inside my head, never with an outlet.

This year has produced a lot of very steep highs and cavernous lows, and every time I have taken that typically Australian manly chin of mine and stuck it out into the abyss to be hit repeatedly and not fall down. I have conquered many fears by being thrown into the fire and had to adjust, and at times I have fallen into a heap with nothing but regret and clasping my head asking why and how.

I have worked with many many lovely, dedicated, honest, and sincere people during the year which has boosted not only my photographic profile, but taught me I am able to stretch the elastic band sometimes to the point where it might break.  In this year has also seen the elastic band break, and I have had to stop, regroup, and decide to continue on or not in more ways than one. When projects go bad, or you have an idea that fails, there is a period of not only morning but learning as well. The ability just to throw it out and start a new is where you make the decision to continue on that chosen path.

2015 Is a new year and already filled with challenges and doubts that in turn I will deal with as they appear. The year will be arduous and long, the challenges great and will seem unsurmountable, but as long as my dear friends are close I shall be able to conquer all.

I wish you all a Happy New Year, and may it bring the joy and happiness you all deserve.

Nathan Larkin

Boat House and Local Walks..

I spent an hour or so plodding along the walk ways and back tracks around the Fairfield Boat House yesterday shooting away merrily. It was so nice to to have an agenda, and I could shoot as much or as little as I liked.

The major problem was getting images I still thought were “Interesting” or had some kind of “Hook” to draw the viewer in.

My problem was most of the shots I wanted to get it didn’t matter how much I moved and twisted, there was some form of weird distraction in them, and that’s when I start to get a little testy. I understand that sometimes we have to take what we are given, and not much else can be changed, but I’m a man that really hates the idea of “good enough”.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with my mindset, but just don’t ask my friends their opinion, as they do believe I’m quite mad. I always look at what I produce and instantly look at ways of making it better, or changing it. Maybe not composition in most cases; but certainly light, tone, edit, even the idea can take a twist for the better with a little more concentration.

The idea that “Practice makes Perfect” I am never sure will work in Photography. We should maybe change that to “Practice makes me Improve and Learn More”, as that seems more fitting.

Looking to the future…

Confucius said “Every journey begins with a single step”.

Let’s think about that for a second. EVERY journey begins with a single step.

Our lives are filled with many steps, and they are all different journeys. We take detours always, but everything ends in the same general goal, our happiness. My happiness comes in many different forms. Being time with my friends and family, time on the bike, or being behind the camera trying to get that one picture I really wanted to see. 

Our minds play tricks on us and tell us that our journeys end more prematurely that they do. There is a confusion in where we understand the finish line is, and sometimes we take the easy option. We ignore our happiness and the things that make us happy. Only to find out later that we MUST take that “first step” again to take back the control of our lives and our happiness.

This last few months have been my “first step”. 

Getting into University, getting back on the bike, and getting back the control of my life have been the things I needed to accomplish. They are all now all done and squared away.

I just need to keep putting one foot in front of the other, and keep my eyes up and looking forward to a new beginning.